Thursday, December 19, 2013
Merry Christmas!
Posted by The Stratum On Highland on 10:48 AM
We hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday!
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Cleaning Before Decorating
Posted by The Stratum On Highland on 10:48 AM
Are decorating your apartment for the Holidays? Make sure to do a thorough cleaning of your apartment before you start hanging the tinsel. Keep reading and learn more at Apartment Therapy.
Floors: A good vacuum or mopping of the floors will ensure that corners behind the tree are clean and clear with no surprise dust bunnies lurking behind gifts on Christmas morning. Plus, if you're entertaining over Thanksgiving, chances are you've had lots of feet treading in and out of your house; even more reason to re-clean between holidays.
Ceilings: Swiping ceilings with a feather duster or brush head of your vacuum will clear away any cobwebs that may have gone unnoticed before the holidays. But with twinkle lights and tree toppers drawing the eye upward and lighting the ceiling, now's the time to clean overhead.
Kitchen: Your kitchen may have been working double duty preparing for Thanksgiving, so now's the time to freshen it up by cleaning the oven, counters, cabinets, floors, stovetop, and sink. Starting with a clean, blank slate will make holiday cooking and baking much more enjoyable than working on top of a mess that's already there.
Closets: Cleaning closets and purging unneeded items is the perfect thing to do now. You'll make room for any house guests you may have in the coming weeks to put their things, or simply for party guests to hang their coats in a coat closet for an evening. Plus, you'll be freeing up space in your closet for any wardrobe-related gifts you might receive over the holidays.
Windows: While spring cleaning is often the time folks hit their windows, late fall is an extremely apt time to do so, as well. Shorter days and longer nights mean less sunshine making its way inside, so clean windows will let in as much sunlight as possible during this darker time of the year. Plus, twinkle lights in a clean window are multiplied and beautified by the sparkle and shine; grimy windows can put a damper on all of those decorations really fast.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
An Old Christmas Treat
Posted by The Stratum On Highland on 11:21 AM
Christmas Cookies and Pies are famous in many households. However,
having warm cinnamon rolls could also be a great Christmas treat. Check
out this great recipe below. This recipe is delicious and super easy
to make for a lot of people. You can learn more at The Kitchn.
I come from a generously-sized family, the sort that prompted wide eyes and under-the-breath counting from strangers who glimpsed our brood at the library or grocery store. I'll spare you the counting and say that I have five brothers and two sisters, so eight of us, plus parents, and now assorted spouses and in-laws. Christmas is an all-day affair for us, with stockings and enough presents to necessitate an intermission about halfway through unwrapping. But as we've grown up and gotten married, things have shifted; last year we did Christmas in the evening, instead of in the morning, and every holiday now has a marked absence of a sibling (or two) celebrating with someone else's family.
But there is one inviolable tradition that still binds our Christmases together, and that is my mother's cinnamon rolls.
My mother's cinnamon rolls are warm and yeasty, prepared ahead of time but baked Christmas morning, enticing people out of bed (since we're now mostly too old to spring out of bed at 4:30am, or camp under the tree). My brothers anticipate them eagerly and devour them instantly.
On Christmas I leave the roll duties to my mother, since, you know, tradition. But I love her recipe and use it too, especially when we have overnight guests, since these rolls are so easy to make ahead and bake off in a few minutes. This recipe makes two dozen rolls, and I like to make a full batch but freeze half of them for impromptu brunches.
I do add my own twists; I like to go beyond cinnamon and add a few extra spices for aroma and taste. Star anise, cardamom, coriander — they add a little something special.
These cinnamon rolls are sweet, spicy, and decadent, and they can satisfy those who want a crunchy sugar glaze on the bottom and creamy icing on top. All it takes (all it ever takes, really) is a little extra butter and a little extra sugar. These are not a breakfast for those on a diet; these are not to be made every weekend. But when you're making cinnamon rolls, in my opinion it's best to go all out — they're a generous treat for family mornings, a tradition from my family to yours.
Par-baked cinnamon rolls about to go back in the oven.
Spicy Sticky Cinnamon Rolls with Cream Cheese Icing
Makes 24 rolls For the dough:
2 1/4 teaspoons (1 envelope) active dry yeast
1 1/4 cup milk, lightly warmed
1/2 cup sugar
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, very soft
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 - 5 cups flour
For the filling:
4 small cinnamon sticks
1 star anise pod
1 teaspoon coriander seeds
1/2 teaspoon cardamom seeds or powder
1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, very soft
For the icing:
4 ounces cream cheese, very soft
1/2 cup milk or cream
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup powdered sugar, plus more as desired
To make the dough, sprinkle the yeast over the warmed milk in a large bowl and set aside for 5 minutes until slightly bubbly. With a whisk or the paddle attachment of a stand mixer, beat in the sugar, softened butter, eggs, vanilla, and salt. Stir in the flour 1 cup at a time, until the dough is very thick.
Knead on lightly floured surface until smooth and warm, or switch to the dough hook and knead in the stand mixer. Knead for about 5 minutes in the mixer, or 7 minutes by hand, until the dough is taut and smooth.
Wipe out the bowl and spray lightly with vegetable oil. Shape the dough into a ball and place in greased bowl, turning it to make sure it's coated in oil. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled — about 2 hours.
For the filling, grind the spices in a spice grinder until fine and mix with the brown sugar. (If you want to skip the extra spices or use powdered cinnamon instead of whole, substitute 3 to 4 tablespoons cinnamon for all the spices.) Cream the butter with the spices and sugar in a mixer or with hand beaters.
Lightly grease two 9-inch cake pans. On a floured surface roll the dough into a large rectangle, about 14 inches by 24 inches. When the dough is rolled out, slather it thickly with the creamed butter and sugar, making sure to spread it nearly to the edges. Roll up along the long side, stretching and pulling the dough into a taut and tight roll. Use a bench scraper or knife to cut into 24 individual rolls.
Divide the rolls among the prepared pans and let rise in a warm place until the rolls double in size — about 45 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Bake the rolls for about 20 minutes or until just beginning to brown.
Make-Ahead Instructions: To make the rolls ahead of time, follow the recipe up until baking. Par-bake the rolls for just 10 minutes. Remove the rolls and let them cool, then freeze them in their pans or in freezer bags. To finish baking, remove them from the freezer and let them thaw in the fridge overnight. Then bake in the morning at 350ºF for 10 to 15 minutes. Frost and serve warm.
For the icing, beat the cream cheese, milk, vanilla, and sugar together, adding more powdered sugar as necessary to get the consistency you prefer. Drizzle over hot rolls with a fork. Serve warm.
Christmas Cookies and Pies are famous in many households. However, having warm cinnamon rolls could also be a great Christmas treat. Check out this great recipe below. This recipe is delicious and super easy to make for a lot of people. You can learn more at The Kitchn.
I come from a generously-sized family, the sort that prompted wide eyes and under-the-breath counting from strangers who glimpsed our brood at the library or grocery store. I'll spare you the counting and say that I have five brothers and two sisters, so eight of us, plus parents, and now assorted spouses and in-laws. Christmas is an all-day affair for us, with stockings and enough presents to necessitate an intermission about halfway through unwrapping. But as we've grown up and gotten married, things have shifted; last year we did Christmas in the evening, instead of in the morning, and every holiday now has a marked absence of a sibling (or two) celebrating with someone else's family.
But there is one inviolable tradition that still binds our Christmases together, and that is my mother's cinnamon rolls.
My mother's cinnamon rolls are warm and yeasty, prepared ahead of time but baked Christmas morning, enticing people out of bed (since we're now mostly too old to spring out of bed at 4:30am, or camp under the tree). My brothers anticipate them eagerly and devour them instantly.
On Christmas I leave the roll duties to my mother, since, you know, tradition. But I love her recipe and use it too, especially when we have overnight guests, since these rolls are so easy to make ahead and bake off in a few minutes. This recipe makes two dozen rolls, and I like to make a full batch but freeze half of them for impromptu brunches.
I do add my own twists; I like to go beyond cinnamon and add a few extra spices for aroma and taste. Star anise, cardamom, coriander — they add a little something special.
These cinnamon rolls are sweet, spicy, and decadent, and they can satisfy those who want a crunchy sugar glaze on the bottom and creamy icing on top. All it takes (all it ever takes, really) is a little extra butter and a little extra sugar. These are not a breakfast for those on a diet; these are not to be made every weekend. But when you're making cinnamon rolls, in my opinion it's best to go all out — they're a generous treat for family mornings, a tradition from my family to yours.
Spicy Sticky Cinnamon Rolls with Cream Cheese Icing
Makes 24 rolls For the dough:
2 1/4 teaspoons (1 envelope) active dry yeast
1 1/4 cup milk, lightly warmed
1/2 cup sugar
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, very soft
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 - 5 cups flour
For the filling:
4 small cinnamon sticks
1 star anise pod
1 teaspoon coriander seeds
1/2 teaspoon cardamom seeds or powder
1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, very soft
For the icing:
4 ounces cream cheese, very soft
1/2 cup milk or cream
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup powdered sugar, plus more as desired
To make the dough, sprinkle the yeast over the warmed milk in a large bowl and set aside for 5 minutes until slightly bubbly. With a whisk or the paddle attachment of a stand mixer, beat in the sugar, softened butter, eggs, vanilla, and salt. Stir in the flour 1 cup at a time, until the dough is very thick.
Knead on lightly floured surface until smooth and warm, or switch to the dough hook and knead in the stand mixer. Knead for about 5 minutes in the mixer, or 7 minutes by hand, until the dough is taut and smooth.
Wipe out the bowl and spray lightly with vegetable oil. Shape the dough into a ball and place in greased bowl, turning it to make sure it's coated in oil. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled — about 2 hours.
For the filling, grind the spices in a spice grinder until fine and mix with the brown sugar. (If you want to skip the extra spices or use powdered cinnamon instead of whole, substitute 3 to 4 tablespoons cinnamon for all the spices.) Cream the butter with the spices and sugar in a mixer or with hand beaters.
Lightly grease two 9-inch cake pans. On a floured surface roll the dough into a large rectangle, about 14 inches by 24 inches. When the dough is rolled out, slather it thickly with the creamed butter and sugar, making sure to spread it nearly to the edges. Roll up along the long side, stretching and pulling the dough into a taut and tight roll. Use a bench scraper or knife to cut into 24 individual rolls.
Divide the rolls among the prepared pans and let rise in a warm place until the rolls double in size — about 45 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Bake the rolls for about 20 minutes or until just beginning to brown.
Make-Ahead Instructions: To make the rolls ahead of time, follow the recipe up until baking. Par-bake the rolls for just 10 minutes. Remove the rolls and let them cool, then freeze them in their pans or in freezer bags. To finish baking, remove them from the freezer and let them thaw in the fridge overnight. Then bake in the morning at 350ºF for 10 to 15 minutes. Frost and serve warm.
For the icing, beat the cream cheese, milk, vanilla, and sugar together, adding more powdered sugar as necessary to get the consistency you prefer. Drizzle over hot rolls with a fork. Serve warm.
Christmas Cookies and Pies are famous in many households. However, having warm cinnamon rolls could also be a great Christmas treat. Check out this great recipe below. This recipe is delicious and super easy to make for a lot of people. You can learn more at The Kitchn.
Monday, December 2, 2013
10 Million Dollar Donation to U of M Sports
Posted by The Stratum On Highland on 11:17 AM
A former University of Memphis basketball player and his wife, daughter of Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton, have made a large donation to the University.
Their $10 million contribution will go to the capital campaign for athletic facilities.
It is the single largest philanthropic gift in the history of the athletic department, and the second-largest gift ever in the 100-year history of the university.
“The University of Memphis and its proud athletics tradition played an extremely important role in shaping our lives,” said Bill and Nancy Laurie in a statement announcing the donation. “We are honored and gratified to play a role in support of the institution’s commitment to help guide current and future student-athletes toward their ultimate goals in life.”
Bill and Nancy Laurie are both graduates of the University of Memphis (then known as Memphis State University).
Bill was a starting guard on the Memphis State men’s basketball team that played in the 1973 NCAA National Championship game.
Nancy Walton Laurie is the youngest daughter of Sam Walton.
The couple lives in Columbia, Missouri where they donated $25 million towards a new arena at the University of Missouri-Columbia.
The arena was named Paige Sports Arena after their daughter.
The name was later removed when Paige’s roommate at the University of Southern California said she was paid $20,000 to do her homework over four years.
According to the University of Memphis, “By securing the $10 million lead gift, the athletic department leadership has reached a significant benchmark in the capital campaign. Memphis has already secured 25 percent of the funds necessary to reach its goal of $40 million, less than 120 days after the plan was unveiled by President Martin.”
The plan calls for construction of a new men’s basketball practice and training facility, an indoor football practice complex, and a softball clubhouse, which includes indoor batting areas.
It will additionally fund comprehensive upgrades and renovations to existing facilities, such as FedExPark and the Hardin Family Sports Complex.
The upgrades will include improvements in common-use facilities that benefit each of the Tigers’ 18 athletics programs.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by The Stratum On Highland on 8:47 AM
What are you thankful for this year?
Monday, November 18, 2013
Microwaved Thanksgiving Meal
Posted by The Stratum On Highland on 11:07 AM
Are you not a great cook? Did you know that you could make an entire Thanksgiving meal in a microwave? It is possible. Check out the story and the instructions below. You can learn more at the WashingtonPost.
MY MICROWAVED THANKSGIVING MENU
* Pecan Pesto Roasted Turkey Breasts (recipe)
* Sweet Potatoes with Apples & Cranberries (recipe)
* Watergate Salad (recipe)
* Stuffing
* Cranberry Sauce
* Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
* Cranberry Spritzers
* Hawaiian Sweet Rolls
* No-Bake Pumpkin Pie with Gingersnap Crust (recipe)
DAYS BEFORE
The key to effortless, sophisticated entertaining is planning ahead, making lots of lists and googling things like "how to microwave a turkey."
Right away, I found the USDA's fact sheet for "Turkey: Alternative Routes to the Table" which reassured me that "turkeys can be successfully cooked in a microwave oven."
The basics: Do not stuff your soon-to-be-zapped bird. Don't go bigger than 12 or 14 pounds. Use a plastic oven cooking bag to even out heat distribution. Cook it for 9 to 10 minutes per pound on medium power. Rotate your bird often. Use a food thermometer to make sure the thickest part of your turkey reaches at least 165-degrees.
All
of my research confirmed that I needed a meat thermometer. I highly
recommend that you get one, too. I found mine for about $10 at Target --
I know it's a splurge, but it's the best way to make sure that your
poultry is cooked thoroughly before feeding it to people you would
rather not poison. That 10-buck investment gave me the confidence to
look my guests in the eye and say, "You will not get sick eating this
turkey. Why? Because I am the proud owner of a meat thermometer."
NIGHT BEFORE
Since my no-bake pie needed to chill for at least five hours, I decided to make it the night before. The whole reason I picked this recipe was because of the ginger-snap-crumb crust -- but I realized it was cheaper to purchase a pre-made graham cracker pie crust in a disposable pie pan than to buy a disposable pie pan. So, I decided to just dust the pre-made crust with ginger snap cookie crumbs. It's the same thing, right?

To
get ginger snap crumbs, I put a handful of cookies in a thick plastic
lock-top bag -- and then another and another -- and then I beat it with a
hammer until nothing remained but crumbs. (You can also stomp them with
a pair of heeled boots.)
Mix together the filling: Two boxes of instant vanilla pudding, half a cup of milk, one can of pumpkin, cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg. Pour that over the crust, cover the pie and refrigerate for at least five hours.
(Now, in the end, I wasn't a huge fan of this pie. Some alternatives: Buy a pre-made pie in the deli or a frozen one. Serve a scoop of Ben and Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake ice cream with ginger snap cookies. Or buy a tub of Philadelphia ready-to-eat pumpkin cheesecake filling and plastic spoons.)
SATURDAY MORNING
I had planned to get up early and spend the morning cooking Martha Stewart's cranberry sauce and Marilyn Monroe's stuffing, which was recently featured in the New York Times and calls for more than 20 ingredients including three types of nuts. Instead, I slept in, read the paper, drank coffee, went to the gym, rearranged the furniture in my apartment....
LATE SATURDAY MORNING
At some point I realized that just because I was microwaving everything, I still had to spend some time prepping and cooking. So, I made my first of several (and I mean several) trips to the grocery store around the corner. I dug through their display of fresh turkeys (if you get one that's frozen, make sure you give yourself enough time to defrost it) and pulled out the tiniest one I could find -- a cute little 12-pounder.
As soon as I got home, I realized there was no way that cute little turkey would fit in my modest-sized microwave. I ran back to the grocery store with my recipe and exchanged the 12-pound bird for a six-pound breast-only one that would easily fit in my microwave.
I don't think you are supposed to microwave it, said a helpful but skeptical Harris Teeter employee. No, no, I told him, the USDA says it's totally safe. And I own a meat thermometer.
SO NOW IT'S MID-AFTERNOON
Since I am cooking this turkey in a microwave, I felt the need to make it fancier than if I popped it in the oven. So, I decided to create a pecan-and-herb pesto to slide under the skin. (You don't have to be that fancy, you can just put it in the microwave. Your friends will still be impressed.)

Chances
are you don't have a food processor in your dorm, so put one cup of
pecans in a plastic bag and use the hammer technique described above to
smash them into crumbs. Finely chop one small onion, 12 fresh sage
leaves and half a cup of parsley leaves. Zest one lemon. Then mix
everything together with three tablespoons of olive oil.
Remove the turkey from the packaging, rinse it off and pat it dry with clean paper towels. Place the turkey in a plastic oven bag (don't close it just yet) on top of a microwave-safe plate. Trim off any excessive fat and then pull back the turkey skin and stuff handfuls of the pesto underneath. It does not have to be pretty. Mine definitely was not.
Heat up four tablespoons of butter with two bay leaves in the microwave. Spread half the butter over the bird. Sprinkle salt and pepper over everything. Tie the bag closed and cut six small slits in the bag (so that it won't explode -- I forgot this step until about five minutes into cooking time).
Since I had a 6-pounder, I cooked it for about 60 minutes at 50-percent or medium heat. Halfway through, I took it out of the microwave and spread the rest of the melted butter over it. If your microwave doesn't have a rotating plate, you will want to rotate your turkey every 15 minutes.
As
you go along, keep in mind that raw poultry can cause major health
problems. Use hot water and soap to clean up your workspace. Don't reuse
cutting boards that have touched raw meat. If you get meat juices on a
towel, throw it in the laundry. (More safety tips)
And another safety tip: You might be tempted to leave your dorm room as your turkey cooks, but that's really a bad idea. Make sure to stay in the room, just in case something goes wrong. PLEASE, DO NOT BURN DOWN YOUR DORM. Thank you.
LATE, LATE AFTERNOON
Sixty minutes were quickly up. I removed the turkey from the microwave and stuck my meat thermometer into a couple different spots, making sure everything was over 165-degrees. Since my guests still hadn't arrived, I put it back into the microwave and reheated the space on low every now and then to keep it warm.

AS MY GUESTS FILTERED IN
I offered everyone cranberry spritzers -- cranberry juice and club soda, with a lime slice and skewer of cranberries. One guest accepted a spritzer, but the rest went for other beverages offered. I also set out bowls of baby carrots and hummus, cranberries, green olives and left-over ginger snap cookies.
One friend set the table with paper plates, napkins and plastic forks (I know it's not earth-friendly, but it makes clean-up so much easier). Another snapped artsy photos. Another created a playlist on Grooveshark. If you are feeling uber-festive you can decorate the table with colorful fall leaves or splurge for flowers (I put mine in an old coffee can).
At about this time I realized that I had a list of sides to make and sort of freaked out.
AS MY GUEST GOT HUNGRY
First I prepped the sweet potatoes with apples and cranberries, a recipe that I found on my friend Kevin's wedding Web site (Warning: It's a super, super cutesy site) and decided to double. Peeled and chopped three huge sweet potatoes. Chopped two Granny Smith apples. Threw that into two Ziploc steamer bags with a handful of dried cranberries, brown sugar, cinnamon, butter and salt. Once the turkey came out of the microwave, I cooked the bags for about nine minutes each.

I also mixed together a fluffy, bright-green "salad"
composed of a can of crushed pineapple, two boxes of pistachio instant
pudding, a container of thawed Cool Whip and two containers of vanilla
yogurt. (You can also stir in mini-marshmallows, maraschino cherries or
chopped nuts.) This is in no way an actual salad -- it is a bowl of
sugar. Maybe it's just because I get homesick for the Midwest around
this time of year, but I think it's delicious. (Not many other people at
the table shared this enthusiasm, which is why I have been stuck eating
this stuff for breakfast the last two days.)
And then came the shameless cheating: I mixed some boiling water with a box of Stove Top -- bam, stuffing was ready. Mixed some boiling water with instant potatoes -- bam, mashed potatoes were done. Pulled out a can opener -- bam, bowl of cranberry sauce. Opened a bag -- bam, rolls. Heated up a jar of 99-cent gravy -- bam, done.
Next challenge: Anyone know how to carve a turkey? I had never done this and years of watching holiday-themed sitcoms has taught me that it requires some sort of special skills. You just cut it, a friend offered. Thanks.
AND DINNER
After it all, seven of us crowded around a table packed with food. Everyone kept commenting that this didn't look like a dorm Thanksgiving, and that the food was not only edible, but surprisingly delicious.
Since all of us are well over 21 and have not lived in campus housing for several years, we split a can of watermelon Four Loko and raised a toast. Even if things hadn't worked out, even if we had to order in pizza, the important thing about Thanksgiving is being surrounded by people who rally behind you (and your crazy work-related experiments) with a sense of humor.
MY MICROWAVED THANKSGIVING MENU
* Pecan Pesto Roasted Turkey Breasts (recipe)
* Sweet Potatoes with Apples & Cranberries (recipe)
* Watergate Salad (recipe)
* Stuffing
* Cranberry Sauce
* Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
* Cranberry Spritzers
* Hawaiian Sweet Rolls
* No-Bake Pumpkin Pie with Gingersnap Crust (recipe)
DAYS BEFORE
The key to effortless, sophisticated entertaining is planning ahead, making lots of lists and googling things like "how to microwave a turkey."
Right away, I found the USDA's fact sheet for "Turkey: Alternative Routes to the Table" which reassured me that "turkeys can be successfully cooked in a microwave oven."
The basics: Do not stuff your soon-to-be-zapped bird. Don't go bigger than 12 or 14 pounds. Use a plastic oven cooking bag to even out heat distribution. Cook it for 9 to 10 minutes per pound on medium power. Rotate your bird often. Use a food thermometer to make sure the thickest part of your turkey reaches at least 165-degrees.
NIGHT BEFORE
Since my no-bake pie needed to chill for at least five hours, I decided to make it the night before. The whole reason I picked this recipe was because of the ginger-snap-crumb crust -- but I realized it was cheaper to purchase a pre-made graham cracker pie crust in a disposable pie pan than to buy a disposable pie pan. So, I decided to just dust the pre-made crust with ginger snap cookie crumbs. It's the same thing, right?
Mix together the filling: Two boxes of instant vanilla pudding, half a cup of milk, one can of pumpkin, cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg. Pour that over the crust, cover the pie and refrigerate for at least five hours.
(Now, in the end, I wasn't a huge fan of this pie. Some alternatives: Buy a pre-made pie in the deli or a frozen one. Serve a scoop of Ben and Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake ice cream with ginger snap cookies. Or buy a tub of Philadelphia ready-to-eat pumpkin cheesecake filling and plastic spoons.)
SATURDAY MORNING
I had planned to get up early and spend the morning cooking Martha Stewart's cranberry sauce and Marilyn Monroe's stuffing, which was recently featured in the New York Times and calls for more than 20 ingredients including three types of nuts. Instead, I slept in, read the paper, drank coffee, went to the gym, rearranged the furniture in my apartment....
At some point I realized that just because I was microwaving everything, I still had to spend some time prepping and cooking. So, I made my first of several (and I mean several) trips to the grocery store around the corner. I dug through their display of fresh turkeys (if you get one that's frozen, make sure you give yourself enough time to defrost it) and pulled out the tiniest one I could find -- a cute little 12-pounder.
As soon as I got home, I realized there was no way that cute little turkey would fit in my modest-sized microwave. I ran back to the grocery store with my recipe and exchanged the 12-pound bird for a six-pound breast-only one that would easily fit in my microwave.
I don't think you are supposed to microwave it, said a helpful but skeptical Harris Teeter employee. No, no, I told him, the USDA says it's totally safe. And I own a meat thermometer.
SO NOW IT'S MID-AFTERNOON
Since I am cooking this turkey in a microwave, I felt the need to make it fancier than if I popped it in the oven. So, I decided to create a pecan-and-herb pesto to slide under the skin. (You don't have to be that fancy, you can just put it in the microwave. Your friends will still be impressed.)
Remove the turkey from the packaging, rinse it off and pat it dry with clean paper towels. Place the turkey in a plastic oven bag (don't close it just yet) on top of a microwave-safe plate. Trim off any excessive fat and then pull back the turkey skin and stuff handfuls of the pesto underneath. It does not have to be pretty. Mine definitely was not.
Heat up four tablespoons of butter with two bay leaves in the microwave. Spread half the butter over the bird. Sprinkle salt and pepper over everything. Tie the bag closed and cut six small slits in the bag (so that it won't explode -- I forgot this step until about five minutes into cooking time).
Since I had a 6-pounder, I cooked it for about 60 minutes at 50-percent or medium heat. Halfway through, I took it out of the microwave and spread the rest of the melted butter over it. If your microwave doesn't have a rotating plate, you will want to rotate your turkey every 15 minutes.
And another safety tip: You might be tempted to leave your dorm room as your turkey cooks, but that's really a bad idea. Make sure to stay in the room, just in case something goes wrong. PLEASE, DO NOT BURN DOWN YOUR DORM. Thank you.
LATE, LATE AFTERNOON
Sixty minutes were quickly up. I removed the turkey from the microwave and stuck my meat thermometer into a couple different spots, making sure everything was over 165-degrees. Since my guests still hadn't arrived, I put it back into the microwave and reheated the space on low every now and then to keep it warm.
I offered everyone cranberry spritzers -- cranberry juice and club soda, with a lime slice and skewer of cranberries. One guest accepted a spritzer, but the rest went for other beverages offered. I also set out bowls of baby carrots and hummus, cranberries, green olives and left-over ginger snap cookies.
One friend set the table with paper plates, napkins and plastic forks (I know it's not earth-friendly, but it makes clean-up so much easier). Another snapped artsy photos. Another created a playlist on Grooveshark. If you are feeling uber-festive you can decorate the table with colorful fall leaves or splurge for flowers (I put mine in an old coffee can).
At about this time I realized that I had a list of sides to make and sort of freaked out.
AS MY GUEST GOT HUNGRY
First I prepped the sweet potatoes with apples and cranberries, a recipe that I found on my friend Kevin's wedding Web site (Warning: It's a super, super cutesy site) and decided to double. Peeled and chopped three huge sweet potatoes. Chopped two Granny Smith apples. Threw that into two Ziploc steamer bags with a handful of dried cranberries, brown sugar, cinnamon, butter and salt. Once the turkey came out of the microwave, I cooked the bags for about nine minutes each.
And then came the shameless cheating: I mixed some boiling water with a box of Stove Top -- bam, stuffing was ready. Mixed some boiling water with instant potatoes -- bam, mashed potatoes were done. Pulled out a can opener -- bam, bowl of cranberry sauce. Opened a bag -- bam, rolls. Heated up a jar of 99-cent gravy -- bam, done.
Next challenge: Anyone know how to carve a turkey? I had never done this and years of watching holiday-themed sitcoms has taught me that it requires some sort of special skills. You just cut it, a friend offered. Thanks.
After it all, seven of us crowded around a table packed with food. Everyone kept commenting that this didn't look like a dorm Thanksgiving, and that the food was not only edible, but surprisingly delicious.
Since all of us are well over 21 and have not lived in campus housing for several years, we split a can of watermelon Four Loko and raised a toast. Even if things hadn't worked out, even if we had to order in pizza, the important thing about Thanksgiving is being surrounded by people who rally behind you (and your crazy work-related experiments) with a sense of humor.


